Today I hit Walgreens to stock up on a few packs of gum because I love to get my bubble-yum on.
Little did I know I was in for one of the most thrilling days of my existence.
The doors parted ways to welcome me in.
I entered with hair flowing in perfect Beyonce-fanned form.
I glided effortlessly into the candy aisle to find..
NO.
No, this COULD NOT BE TRUE.
PUMPKIN. SPICE. SUGARFREE GUM.
My heart palpitated.
I looked to my right.
OMG Apple Crisp.
Looked to my left…
BIRTHDAY CAKE, PEOPLE. THERE IS BIRTHDAY CAKE SUGARFREE GUM.
I caught my breath. Was this a dream?
Nope. This sh#t was real life.
“But will it be up to par?” I thought to myself.
Yep, simply dankalicious. #nomnom
Ladies and gentlemen, fellow Undressers across the nation, I exclaim to you:
Project 7 and Extra Gum have given us freedom from holiday pound-packing of sugary sweets with these fab flavors I’m so glad to report are tasty and (phew) trans-fat free.
#Praiselittlebabyjesus
Project 7’s Birthday Cake has that perfect sweet and salty blend of badass buttery batter.
Extra’s Pumpkin Spice gives a latte-licious zip I just fa-la-la-la-love to celebrate the holiday season with.
Extra’s Apple Crisp Gum literally just feels like a trick. #pinchme
Which flavors spur you to celebrate?
XOJP
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